no need to apologize for you

Women are often taught to be small and to apologize when we’ve stepped outside of what is acceptable. It’s sad how common it is to hear a woman kick off a brilliant point in a meeting with “sorry, I’m just going to add….” What are we seeing here? First, we hear an apology. An apology for what? Speaking? Taking up space? Sharing a thought? Then, we hear the word “just” which inherently minimizes what is being said. Women are not only pushed down in society by others, but we are pushed down by ourselves. We discredit ourselves too often and sadly it’s totally normalized.

I find myself saying to colleagues, friends, and loved ones: “don’t apologize for being you.” Being apologetic for good reason is totally fine, but being apologetic for just being yourself is devastating. We are all smart, strong and beautiful and more importantly, we are deserving of space and respect. We are enough.

There are many dynamics that can be at play in situations like the one I just mentioned, and I don’t want to simplify things too much. But, if we can identify this pattern and call it out, we will all benefit from that. Lifting up others and lifting up ourselves are two incredibly powerful and impactful things to do.